Relationships and sex
One day, a recently married man goes to the
attic of his new home to put a few things in
storage. While he is there, he notices a large
steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he
tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled
and curious, he calls his new bride up to the
attic and
asks her about the trunk.
She tells him that it is hers and that it only
contains some personal things. He accepts her
answer and eventually forgets all about the
matter.
Three years later when he is cleaning out the
attic, he runs across the trunk and again asks
his wife what's in it. She again tells him that
it contains only personal things, but this time
he is more persistent. So she sits him down and
reminds him that she makes him happy when he's
feeling down, that she keeps the house
meticulously clean, that she cooks him fantastic
meals 7 days a week, and that she gives him all
the sex he wants, anytime he wants it. Then she
tells him if he is happy with all of those
things, that he should forget about the trunk
because she will not talk about it.
"Fair enough," says the husband,
and he finishes cleaning out the attic.
On their 25th wedding anniversary, he pulls the
trunk down the stairs, into the middle of the
living room floor, and calls to his wife.
"Honey," he says, "we've
been married for 25 years and I think it's time
we had a heart-to-heart talk. What the hell is
in that trunk?"
The wife immediately protests, reminding him
once again about the clean house, the good food
and the great sex.
"I don't care," he tells her.
"After 25 years we ought to be able to talk
about anything. Now open this goddamn
trunk!"
So, she takes a key from a chain hanging around
her neck and opens the trunk. Inside is three
ears of corn and 25 thousand dollars in cash.
"Jesus Christ!" shouts the surprised
husband. "What's going on here? Where did
all of this come from?"
"Well, sweetie," replies the wife,
"you said we could talk, so I'll tell you
what you want to know. Over the years, I tried
to stay faithful to you, but I wasn't always
successful. Every time that I cheated on you, I
put an ear of corn into the trunk."
The husband cannot believe the shocking
confession that he has just heard, but after
mulling it over in his mind for a few moments he
says to his wife,
"All right, I admit I'm not too
thrilled about this, but I did say we should be
honest with each other, and I guess I can live
with three incidents of infidelity in 25 years.
But where did all the money come from?"
"Well," she replies, "whenever
the trunk got full, I sold the corn.
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