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Havans for the Judge
A
defendant in a lawsuit involving large over a
million pounds talking to his lawyer.
"If
I lose this case, I'll be completely ruined. I
hope you understand this "
"It's
in the judge's hands now," said the
lawyer.
"Would
it help if I sent the judge a gift, maybe a box
of Havana cigars?"
"Oh
no! This judge is a stickler for moral
ethical behavior. Doing something like
that would prejudice him against you. He
might even hold you in contempt of court. In
fact, you shouldn't even smile at the
judge."
Within
the course of time, the judge rendered a
decision in favor of the defendant.
As
the delighted defendant left the court, he
smiled to his lawyer and said
"Thanks
for the tip about the cigars. It
worked!" "I'm sure we would have lost
the case if you'd sent them."
"But,
I did send them."
"What?
You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.
"Yes.
How else do you think we won this case."
"I
don't understand," said the lawyer.
"It's
easy. I sent the Cuban cigars to the judge, but
enclosed the plaintiff's business
card."
Sunbathing
Lorraine
, who was a rather well-proportioned sexy
secretary, spent almost all of her
holidays sunbathing on the roof of her
hotel.
She wore a swimming
suit the first day, but on the second, she
decided that no one could see her way up
there, and she decided to bath nude.
She'd hardly
begun when she heard someone running
quickly up the stairs. She was lying on her
stomach, so she quickly placed a towel
over her bottom.
"Excuse
me, miss," said the flustered assistant
manager of the hotel, out of breath from
running up the stairs.
"The
Holiday Inn doesn't mind your sunbathing
on the roof, but we would very much appreciate
your wearing a swimming suit as you
did yesterday."
"What
difference does it make?" Lorraine asked
rather calmly.
"No
one can see me up here, and besides, I'm
covered with a towel."
"Not
exactly," said the embarrassed man.
"You're
lying on the dining room skylight."
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